Arctic Blast finally here!

We have essentially been 'snowed in' for about 5 days. We have made it out for the 'must haves', but that's about it. John has been home for almost a week, and we have enjoyed some great family time. We will be venturing to Sandy in a bit to spend Christmas Eve with my parents and brother's family.

May you all have a very merry Christmas, and experience the joy of the Messiah's coming to earth as a baby. We are especially fond of remembering our out-of-town family this time of year. We wish that we could have our own celebration with each one of you. Know you are close to our hearts.

Baking, baking, and more baking!

The girls and I have had a great time baking. We needed something to keep our hands busy and it was great to deliver trays to some family and friends before the worst of the weather.

Yes, their hands were clean!

These were reindeer cupcakes we originally made for kids in Amaya's classroom. Since school was cancelled, we put them on the trays for the other kids in our lives.

My new nephew!

Introducing Kyler David Bishop! My sister Emily and her husband live in southern California. They have an 18 month old, Jagger, and now another beautiful son.

Emily had a TV movie delivery on December 3rd at 2:43 pm. They arrived at the hospital only 20 minutes before Kyler was born. Needless to say, she didn't get the comfy delivery (are they ever!) she was hoping for, but luckily only had to push for a couple minutes.

Kyler, we can't wait to meet you! You are blessed with amazing parents. I am especially partial to your mom. She is my younger sister by six years, but now my closest friend. It is exciting to be in the same stage of life as her. I know you will appreciate her, too, as you get older. If I see that you are not, I will make sure to remind you just how special she is. I love you, Em.

Christmas Card Pics

Before we headed south to Mexico, one of the things on my list to get done was to get pictures taken of the girls, and send off Christmas cards. We had fun on Thanksgiving Day taking a hundred pictures of the girls out at my parent's house (thank goodness for digital).

We have been homebound for the last few days due to ARCTIC BLAST 2008. My sister-in-law and I were discussing that perhaps the news channels and Les Schwab are conspiring with each other. Having lived in Chicago and being married to a man from Montana, this is hardly an arctic blast.

I have mixed emotions about the weather. It is truly beautiful, and certainly adds meaning to the prospect of a winter wonderland here in the Northwest; however, Amaya has missed school all week, and was quite dissapointed about missing her first school Christmas program, having mom help out in class, and her class Christmas party. The reindeer cupcakes we made were pretty cute, I must say.

The girls and I have had some great time together during the last few days, and I am thankful for the forced opportunity to stay home, and bypass the usual hustle of this week before Christmas. I am feeling better with each day that passes, and am anxious to return to normalcy. The physical pain will long be outlived by the emotional pain that accompanies this experience.

Showered with kisses!!

Blogging has been near the top of my to-do list for quite some time. The problem is that the few things that are actually at the top of the list have also been a struggle to get done. We are in survival mode around here, which I usually detest, but due to recent circumstances, am happy to settle into for a bit longer.

November 20th is when this story began... actually, years before then. I have always struggled with my weight. I am a champion dieter, having tried over 15 different dieting gimmicks. Some worked and some didn't. I would lose weight only to put it back on later. Even in high school, I felt different than many of my peers who were thin and seemed to be without worry.

Weight is all a matter of perspective for me. During high school, I felt very fat and overweight, despite being a great swimmer and water polo player. Now I would give almost anything to be down to my high school graduating weight.

Wrongly, I have felt for years that if I lost weight, many of my 'problems and worries' would dissipate. Since having back surgery in October, 2007, I have gained about 30 pounds... stubborn, stubborn pounds which seem to resist vacating my thighs, stomach, and cheeks (both sets.)

In the last year, my health has worsened and I began looking for an 'out of the box' way to get rid of my extra poundage once and for all. It began consuming my mind. I would think about my weight multiple times every day, and it began crippling the joy I used to have.

I started to consider weight loss surgery. To make a very long journey short ( and readable), we found out that the insurance we self pay for every month did not cover this type of surgery.

Since John is a real estate agent and I am not working right now, we pay $900/month for insurance. Our family has been inundated with medical issues this last year, so most of the time we thank God for our insurance. This time we did not! Frustration seemed to pervade our spirits. Families who have Oregon Health Plan, Medicare, or Medicaid can qualify for the surgery, but we could not. We tried to appeal, to no avail.

I felt like I was left with one option: MEXICO. There are well-trained surgeons there who will perform the LAP-BAND surgery for a fraction of the price it would be to pay for it here.

We got creative with finances, pulled out some retirement, and prepared for a life-changing surgery. If you know me at all, you know I don't make decisions lightly, and so I spent hours and hours online researching and communicating with various surgeons. I narrowed it down and my surgery was scheduled for December 1, 2008. I did a 10-day pre-op liquid diet, and then John and I made the trip to Tijuana.

We returned home on December 3rd, and I was hopeful for my weight loss to begin. All of our Christmas preparation was done... getting a tree, decorating the house, buying and wrapping presents...all by the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Less than 24 hours after returning home, my pain was worsening, and I began having chills. We went to the ER over at Mt Hood. John thought I would be given some better pain medicine and we would be sent on our way; I knew the process would not be that quick. Walking into the hospital I bet John that I would be admitted for at least a couple of days. He glanced at me, incredulously. Little did we know...

We checked into the ER about 9pm. I was rushed to Good Samaritan to be treated by a leading Bariatric surgeon in Portland. I was in surgery by 5:30am. The results of the surgery would not be made known to me until I returned to my room about 8am. I had several pockets of infected fluid, and my lap band needed to be removed. I was devastated. Still am.

What promised to be a successful plan for weight loss (loss of 90 pounds over the next 10 months) turned into a really dissapointing trial. I have 9 incisions on my abdomen, one which is open and needs to be 'packed' once a day. I am still in a lot pain, and have a myriad of differing emotions flooding my mind.

Dissapointment for the loss of what I thought might bring an end to my struggle with weight.
Guilty for using a lot of money on what ended up being a futile process.
Anger that the doctor in Mexico will not take responsibility for his involvement in introducing a very rare bacteria into my body.
Guilty for 'using up' and taking away some of the Christmas season from Amaya and Tennyson.
Thankful for my understanding husband, parents, and daughters.

Amaya, as she showered my tear-stained face with kisses, the other morning, said, "Mom, you don't have to be a perfect mom to still be the best mommy ever." I love that girl!

Eight little words

I usually post the funny things Amaya says, or how she says them. Amaya is a thinker and very inquisitive... I could publish a new post every day. However, Tennyson is learning to express herself, and her lack of language can be just as comical!
I was putting her to bed a couple of nights ago, and she started out with a common thread to a lot of what she says... concern for what her big sister is doing.

Tennyson: Amaya nigh-nigh?

Mommy: Yes, Amaya is going night-night.

Tennyson: Daddy yay?

Mommy: Yes, Daddy is laying with Amaya.

Tennyson: No books?

Mommy: No books tonight.

Tennyson: Too lay?

Mommy: Yes, it is too late.

With just eight little words, she expressed herself in a way I could totally understand. It's fascinating to me how language develops in little ones. It's yet another testament to God's genius in creation!

Amaya, the Military, and Dogs

The military recently came up during a conversation that John and I were having with Amaya.

Amaya: What's the military?

Mom: The military is a group of men and women who have chosen to protect and serve our country. Some do it here in the United States, and some do it in other parts of the world where it can be really dangerous. Lots of them make a lot of sacrifices to protect the freedom we have in this country.

Amaya: Why do we need people for that (with an astounded look on her face)? We have dogs to do that!

Watch out world! Our six year old, slightly overweight, 'I bark only at chipmunks' chocolate lab is coming to protect you.

Leiby girls no longer 'deprived'

Tennyson loved her zebra costume! Thanks, Leah.

I thought for sure Tennyson would want to follow in Amaya's footsteps, and be a princess, but as soon as I told her that zebra's are actually in the horse family, she was content!

Our Cinderelly!

Halloween usually comes and goes in our family without so much as a mention of 'trick or treating' or dressing up; however, this year Amaya is '4', in school, and around a lot more kids than her preveiously sheltered life allowed her to be. Needless to say, Halloween reared it's head this year, and we caved. Amaya and Tennyson both got to dress up, and participated in a little daylight 'trick or treating'. A fun time was had by all!

As for next year? We'll see... I personally appreciated our 'let's be set apart' approach, but those big bags of candy make for some good snakin' after the girls are sound asleep!

To the Pumpkin Patch!

We went to Liepold's Pumpkin Patch last weekend as a family. What a fun place... for the kids, that is! And that means it is fun for the adults too, right... I think I much prefer the traditional pumpkin patch with maybe a hay ride, but I know the girls enjoyed this. Now that Tennyson is '2', it seems like she is experiencing everything for the first time. She's looking at things with fresh eyes. Amaya takes every opportunity to get some loves in, even if they are not reciprocated by her sister!

From Orchard to Oven to Mouth

What a great time we had! This was my first time doing the Hood River Fruit Loop with the girls. We went to two farms. The weather was perfect, the apples were huge, and the girls (yes, all six of them) were happy. A great combination for success.
We started at Donut World in Gresham for the kids, drove thru Starbucks for the mamas, and began our qwest for apples. We picked about 200 pounds of apples in about a half hour... and that time even included some good sample tasting, some potty squatting, and some apple squashing! Thanks for the fun Friday morning, Holly and Heidi.
Amaya, Tennyson, and I made our first apple pie of the Fall. Poppy was over for dinner. Daddy and Poppy gave their thumbs up as they splurged on pie and ice cream.
Can't wait to can some applesauce for this winter. Thanks to you, Holly, if all else fails, we'll have blueberries and applesauce all winter! Mmmm...

Jagger Update #4

Jagger is doing much better! He finally got a small stretch of sleep last night, which provided Emily the opportunity to get some sleep as well. His pain is being pretty well controlled. It makes him a little wobbly when he is trying to walk, so he's been out of his room, mostly in the stroller. When I talked to Emily this morning, they were expecting to be discharged sometime today. All of his tubes were out, except the IV. Praise God for a quick stay in the hospital. I think everyone involved is eager to get Jagger home.

Jagger Update #3

Jagger had a good night, medically speaking. He barely slept, and was quite restless, but mom reports this morning that he finally took a 2 1/2 hour nap. His catheter is out, he is off his blood pressure medicine, and the nurses are trying to wean him to Tylenol with Codeine so that he can go to the regular floor. He has been able to have some liquids, and everyone was hoping he could have some solids this afternoon. He is quite hungry!
The rest of the family is doing well. Emily was going to try to get some sleep this afternoon while mom and Candy and Josh were in with Jagger. She had some contractions yesterday, as well as some swelling in one of her legs. Please keep praying.
Despite some inconveniences (minimal sleep and food!), Jagger is recovering well. Praise God! I will update again tonight.

#2 Update on Jagger

Jagger is in the PICU, off the ventilator, and doing well. Mom reports that the nurses have all been great, and Jagger has been a real trooper. The nurses indicated that one-year olds are usually a difficult age group to care for, but they have been impressed with how sweet, laid back and 'distractable' Jagger is.
He still is hooked up to many things, some of which need to be discontinued before he can go to the regular pediatric floor. His blood pressure is high, but it seems this is fairly common after this extent of surgery. He said 'hi' to Josh, and smiled for mom (you know that made her day!)... hard to believe! I can say with absolute certainty that I would not be smiling so soon after getting my chest cut open. Aren't kids wonderful!!
Emily and Josh say the Ronald McDonald House is wonderful... a huge answer to prayer. The church that Josh works for lavished gifts on them... books for Jagger, restaurant gift certificates, paid for all expenses at the Ronald McDonald House, and much more. Praise God for these acts of kindness in such a time of need.
Mom said she would call in the morning, unless something changes tonight. She said Em was feeling quite 'helpless' tonight, as Jagger was having some pain. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

Update on Jagger...

Jagger came out of surgery well. The surgeon reported that there was not anything unexpected except that they found another small atrial septal defect, which they stitched together. The other defect is now patched, and the arteries that were joined together on the right side have been separated and rerouted. They were trying to get Jagger off the ventilator before they took him to the PICU.
When I talked to mom, Emily and Josh had not been able to see Jagger yet. They were hoping they wouldn't have to wait much longer. Lots of family and friends were there to support Josh and Em during surgery. Thanks for praying. Let's continue to lift them up in prayer as the next few days will be crucial to his recovery.

Little Jagger's Surgery... please pray!

My nephew, Jagger, is scheduled for open heart surgery tomorrow, Wednesday, at 11:00am. Jagger has to be at the hospital at 10am. Mom and Josh's mom, Candy, will get to see him for a bit before surgery, since the start time is later now.
Today, Josh and Emily, along with Jagger, met with the surgeon, went on tour of LA Children's Hospital, and had a myriad of tests done. They found out some new information about Jagger's condition. Not only will the surgeon be repairing the large hole, he will also be rerouting an artery which is not in the right place. They will be using some of his pericardium (the sac which encompasses the heart) to repair the hole. Once in surgery, they will better understand the extent to which this artery needs to be repaired.
Emily and Josh were able to see another patient who had the same surgery. Emily felt like she would now be better prepared for that initial time of seeing Jagger after surgery.
The surgeon maintained that Jagger will only be in the Pediatric ICU for about 24 hours, with an expected hospital stay of 3 days. Please pray that everything will go smoothly tomorrow for Jagger, and the rest of the family. Emily has had a couple of difficult weeks with her pregnancy, so please pray that God's peace will be with her at every turn.
A praise is that they did get into the Ronald McDonald House, so they will be close to the hospital, and only have to pay a minimal charge. Mom and Candy are down there now, along with other members of Josh's family that are in the area.
It's hard to understand why such a little guy has to endure such a trial as this, but I do trust that God's hand is on this family, and am believing that His purposes for us to bring him glory will be accomplished. Please continue to pray...

One of those days...

Conversation with Amaya on the way home from school:

Amaya: Why are you going around the block this way?

Mommy: Because I wanted to stop and get the mail.

Amaya: But the mail box is back there.

Car goes in reverse, and we travel backwards for a half a block.

Amaya: Are you having another one of those 'lose your brain' days, Mommy?

Mommy: Yes, honey, it appears I am.

Thanks for pointing that out, my sweet four year old!

Amaya's first day of school

Amaya's first day of preschool at Phonics Phactory was a huge success. Tennyson didn't quite know what to do with herself (neither did mom, for that matter). We feel blessed with her teacher, Mrs. Barham. She has already been sensitive to the parental concerns we had about Amaya starting school. Amaya has responded well to her, and we look forward to the upcoming year.

Amaya's horse obsession

Amaya had her first, and long awaited for, horse riding lesson last week. After we made sure that this interest in horses wasn't just a phase, John found a stable for her to take lessons at. Amaya was all smiles as she donned her boots, and loaded her tack into the back of our car. On one hand, I think we are hoping it is a phase, based on the cost of every small thing associated with these 4-legged creatures; on the other hand, we have heard from more than one person that an interest in horses often replaces an interest in boys during the teenage years.

So, while mom would much rather have her involved in something a little more athletic, or musical, I will bank on the trainer's promise that this will be instilling some sort of discipline into her little 4 year old soul.

Something I said I would never do...

I have loved reading other families' blogs, but swore I would never create one myself (who has the time, I thought); however, with the passing of Tennyson's 2nd birthday, and Amaya starting preschool, my guilt was no longer bearable. I needed to start doing a better job of recording, and preserving some of those 'once in a lifetime' moments from my girls. So, if no one actually reads our blog, that's ok. My personal blogging goals will still have been met.